Using grandparent child care (mainly grandmothers) is an option common with women with African or Asian roots.
Also, about half of the UK’s grandparents provide childcare on a regular basis (source). Grandparent child care is recognized, in the UK, as an informal care since it is not considered a job but more of a labour of love. A lot of grandmothers are delighted to care for their grandchildren and consider it a privilege and a joy.
I made used of this option when my daughter (Bionic) was newly born till she was 1. I would recommend grandparent child care option for this age bracket especially for first time mothers. This is not to say this option is not suitable for older children.
Both Bionic’s grandmothers live in Nigeria and they visited at different times to take care of her. My mum came when she was born and stayed with us for three months. My mum in-law came when Bionic was 9 months and also stayed with us for like 3 months.
If your parents/parents in law live in the same vicinity as you do, you could always make arrangement to drop off little one at their home.
Advantages and Disadvantages Of Grandparent Child care
Using grandparent child care option has its own advantages some of which I have personally experienced:
1) Bionic was cared for by family, trusted by my husband and I. Grandmothers are like mothers only older, usually wiser and more experienced! If my husband and I turned out “OK” we knew Bionic was in excellent care! I also didn’t feel bad returning to work after my maternity leave was over.
2) I got first hand practical experience of how to take care of a baby. It was scary not knowing what to do with a new baby, but my mum showed me how to bath, feed, change and generally care for Bionic safely. Mum also taught me some tips on how to get baby to sleep through the night and other baby related issues.
3) The relationship between the new mother and her mother/mother in-law could deepen. Knowing what it entails to take care of a baby, helped me realised the awesome job my mum did taking care of my siblings and I. She had three babies in the space of three years and did a masters degree during that time. I didn’t appreciate how demanding a new baby could get till I had Bionic. Having my mother around helped me see her in a new light and strengthened our relationship.
4) Your little one also gets to develop a relationship with their grandparents, which is a plus.
5) This option may be cheaper than all other options depending on the hidden costs attached.
6) As a new mother, I also got some well-deserved rest. My mum was available to help watch Bionic when I needed to catch some sleep.
Of course there are downsides to having grandma over!
1) Grandparents may try to impose some of their views, which you don’t necessarily agree with e.g. carrying baby all the time, picking her up when she cries or not allowing baby to settle down to sleep by herself.
Try and see things from your mum/mum in-law’s point of view. I believe they act out of love. Communicate your concerns. For instance, you want baby to be able to settle herself to sleep and not get accustomed to being carried around all the time because grandma will not always be around to carry her!
2) Some grandparents would not help out as much as you expect so it is best to set expectation from the outset. If grandma isn’t willing or capable to help out then you would have to consider other options.
3) There isn’t much privacy for the period your mother or mother-in-law is around. Depending on the personality of your mother or mother in-law, they might be in your face. You might even be judged on how you manage the affairs of your home. If this is a great concern for you, it may be best to consider alternative childcare.
4) There may be hidden cost attached to this option. Paying for grandma’s airfare, if she lives abroad can be costly amongst other things.
Click the link for more details on what to consider if choosing grandparent child care option.
What other advantages or disadvantages do you see with this child care option? What has being your experience with grandparent child care option? Please share with us in the comments section. Thanks
